hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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