there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
