I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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