There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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