She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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