she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
