Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
