I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize