I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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