Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
