My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
