All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize