i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
