I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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