youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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