I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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