Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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