Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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