Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize