There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
40s are totally the cure
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
