Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
