Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
