Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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