Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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