Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
