3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day