I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz