Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
