I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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