i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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