and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He shit in the fireplace
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
