Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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