three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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