I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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