I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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