Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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