i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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