Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
