one two three fourrrrnication!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
