Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
