Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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