are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
