none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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