Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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