you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
