What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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