i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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