was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize