so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I intend to get homeless drunk
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
