I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
