Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
