I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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