Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize