I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
