No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
