Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
