Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he shaved USA in his pubs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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