No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize