Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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