just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
