Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
