I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
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I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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