dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
