Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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