Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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