Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize