Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
